:/DF digital/:

I. Ever have one of those days? The kind where you just wake up and know you're just headed for change?
Well this is certainly not the product of any one day. In fact, this decision has been a long time coming. A few close to LARVAMIND have always suspected our music was a delicate fabric under constant threat of tear...and I'm sure they saw this coming. Some might even suggest that it seems odd that one would want to leave "the band" after all we have endured and seemed to be stronger than ever. And as such, this is why I've decided to create this statement:

Yes, I quit. I hereby officially announce my departure from LARVAMIND. And for no other reason than I feel I have to.
"Creative differences?"
No. Consider this an ethical decision to follow the sound inside my head. My personal beliefs that led to writing in the first place were always driven to find something new. And while "something new" doesn't necessarily mean "something better" I feel that continuing to humor the idea of LARVAMIND being this huge heavy metal entity is something I no longer want to persue.

II. We had a good run. And things are a lot better than they were 2 years ago.
In the beginning Bob and I were the driving forces of Lm's music. In that first year we wrote so much under the worst of circumstances that it truely is a wonder we got as far as we did. From the humble beginnings of jamming in a small 8x4 room [also known as my kitchen] in a shitty Berrien Springs trailer park, and later, past all of the religious conflicts, drug abuse, days in jail and the occasional sexual distraction, we managed to aspire to a spacious double football field-lengthed building we lovingly referred to as the Frass Factory.

By year two, Nixon became a hell of a lot better and we lost some excess baggage [Daval] along the way. I moved from hiding behind my guitar to taking a course in LOVE MUFFIN 101 and eventually fronting LARVAMIND's newer, heavier sound. I think this is where things began to fall apart. While Daval was just plain awful, I felt as though I was never quite good enough to further our sound vocally. In the end, some verses were omitted and by our last show, people were really taken by our progressive and almost-instrumental sound.

I have gained all the acceptance I could ever hope for.

III. Disdain is defined as "a feeling of contempt for what is beneath one".
The truth is, the Michiana music scene is a weak portrayal of everything dishonest. I've lived here all of my life and have seen artists and musicians come and go. The only one thing that stays the same is exploitation. Every year the vultures get stronger and stronger. And every year things become more and more stale. Stagnant.

Those who do not follow history are doomed to repeat it. A decade ago I was striving to make the kind of music LARVAMIND is making now [er, was]. But back then everyone was trying to emulate all that was "in": big hair, glam, shaking your ass and doing the occasional Bon Jovi cover. It was all the same and today is no different. What once was Def Leppard is now the Deftones. My conclusion?

The underground is supposed to be innovative.
Instead it is a mockery of the mainstream.

IV. What's worse is that the messages they convey are all the same:
Negative. Malcontent. Angst-ridden. Insecure. Pro-drug. Pro-death. Selfish. Things I generally try to avoid on my quest to being a better person I find myself constantly exposed to. Eventually your environment shapes you. And thus I want no more of it.

It was during one of our many shows last year with LOVE MUFFIN that this all occured to me. That I too was nothing more than an entertainer. I represented nothing more than an image.

You should have heard us at our rehearsals; our talks of peace, love and harmony. Of God, the universe, and the positive gift of life. You should have been to our rehearsals and seen us pain over every note we played; 20 minute songs that took a lot of energy and heart. But from the moment we took the stage in '99 to the end of 2000 it meant nothing.

We could have played the perfect show, hit every chord and been on cue every time, while no one cared. Yet if I banged my head and jumped around, slopped my chords, smashed guitars and screamed a lot, then we were "accepted". Nevermind that none of our songs had any lyrics! Nevermind the small discrepancy of a conceptual band with no concept.

The words I sang conveyed no meaning or message. So when I sing I simply try to empty myself into the music. But as soon as I've emptied myself of the lyrics, I feel empty too. My only fulfillment is the looking forward to the next compostion. The one that's going to make sense out of all of this.

I am not an entertainer. Been there, done that. I'm looking for something more real. Something honest and more true to myself. Nothing as soulless and empty as the pop and metal cultures we see today.

V. The future of LARVAMIND is certain in uncertainty. Bob and Nixon will continue to write incredible music [together or on their own] as will I. But I will no longer be living in the shadow of this area. I am part of a bigger scene now. One that will truely reach people beyond the means of the industry, shitty agents, or failed promotions. And I will continue to embrace all of my ideals reguardless if they are hated amongst my peers.

Something new, something soon.

Thanks for listening,
Justin Hicks